Okay so Christmas came and went....I can hardly believe it. I feel like these years go by so fast (yet) so slow...sometimes. Now New Years, I want to be a new person. TO recover FULLY. TO LIVE! LIFE!

So I think I am going to cut my hair to a shag like bob, get a nose ring, and pack my bags and move to Tempe Arizona. Okay so maybe I wont do the last to things (right away) but I am getting my hair cut....it's falling out actully...I look like death sometimes...and I'm getting those little hairs on my face to. I'm becomeing a shadow agian. I have these great visualizations of me free of my demons. I am zany and engergetic and feel good cofident and SEXY. I just have to let go...so I guess I;ll jion the herd, make a NEW YEARS resolution. To TRY (atleast) to recover. One bite at a time. LEt go of this.

I can't kep playing this game. I feel it in my chest atleast once a day,. WHen will it become real? When I'm laying a hosital bed with tubes and a monitor? Hmmm...lets not think about that.

Happy New YEAR! HAppy NEW ME!

P.S. I got a digital camera for CHrsitmas so get rready for photo fun! :)